The Berkeley Beacon

Issue date: 11/16/00 Section: Lifestyle

Ever want a boyfriend who will take you out to nice places, pay attention and flirt with you, be sensitive and do admirable things, without the fuss? The opportunity lies in a cyber-boyfriend; I was determined to meet one.

A friend told me about Max, who lives on www.trouble.co.uk/flashboyfriend.

Max was a reputable charmer, and my friend made all the right mouse clicks. He took her to Barbados for a weekend cyber-date. She reached the highest praise: the words “I love you” appeared in a bubble next to his beautiful, animated body just before swinging tonsils surrounded by hearts filled the screen. A long, passionate kiss. For free.

My friend e-mailed me his address, and I clicked it. I didn’t know what to expect. Would I find him? Would he like me? How do I look? The screen appeared, and I stared at it in confusion. I clicked a button and was transported to a simulated computer screen.

I seemed to be in a chat room with two other characters, and the conversation was writing itself out. Seems that one gallantly defended me against the other’s rather aggressive remarks. My knight in shining armor was, coincidentally, in the very same cyber café as me.

Max (and his blond roommate Felix) appeared on my screen. Dark, handsome, baby blues—what a cutie. I’d never seen such a gorgeous cartoon. With every scenario, I was given choices A, B, or C of what to say after animated segments, kind of like a grown-up version of “choose your own adventure” books.

Max asked me what kind of coffee I would like: Cappuccino would be nice, something dark and intense, or coffee at his place? I should have chosen dark and intense, but I wanted to be provocative, so I chose coffee at his place. Max’s answer was “Maybe later, let’s settle for coffee here first!”

Well, at least he’s not a sleaze, right?

And then that blonde cartoon of an ex-girlfriend came prancing up on screen, totally dominated the conversation, slipped in lots of mean jabs, and whisked him away on a date….But not before he got my e-mail address and promised to slip me “an interesting e-mail.”

Continued...

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